Ashes and Wine

Don't know what to do anymore
I've lost the only love worth fighting for
I'll drown in my tears
Don't they see?
That which show you, that which make you hurt like me

All the same
I don't want mudslinging games
It's such a shame
To let you walk away

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?

Don't know if our fate's already sealed
This day's spinning surface on a wheel
I'm ill with the thought of your kiss
Coffee laced intoxicating on her lips

Cut it out
I've got no claim on you now
Not allowed to wear your freedom down

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may chance your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?

I'll tear myself away
That is what you need
There is nothing left to say
But

Is there a chance?
A fragment of light at the end of the tunnel?
A reason to fight?
Is there a chance you may change your mind?
Or are we ashes and wine?
The day's still ashes and wine
Or are we ashes?

The pain overwelms me...

There's not much to say on my recent break up with Mr. A except that it fucking sucks. I have issues to work out that entails a whole lot of working on myself. We've agreed on separating ourselves for four days and lets be honest, what good will four days do to an already toxic relationship? I'm hoping a hell of a lot that's for sure.

A lot of realization has come into play on my end. I'm not sure how he feels but I never truly felt he was as open about feelings and emotions like I have been. And that's saying a lot I might add considering I'm as open and a closed casket.

Four days to work on myself. Four days to deal with this "depression" as I have no other word to explain it.

My top 3 breakup songs... from experience.

Its only been a few days since he broke up with me. I never thought it would be this hard to deal with but as it turns out, it's so much harder than I ever thought it would be. It seems the only things getting me through this are country songs, and great friends.

I just never thought this day would come...

My top 3 breakup songs:

"A Little Bit Stronger" by Sara Evans


"Undo It" by Carrie Underwood


"Gunpowder and Lead" by Miranda Lambert

Pistol Annies

Miranda Lambert has formed a new girl group, featuring her pals and songwriting partners, Ashley Monroe and Angaleena Presley. The trio are called Pistol Annies, and they made their debut during the taping of the Academy of Country Music's 'Girls' Night Out' television special in Las Vegas on April 4, 2011.

When Miranda was asked about Pistol Annies and the members, she said this:  "It's a girl named Angaleena Presley from East Kentucky and Ashley Monroe, and they're both artists on their own and they're great friends of mine. We've just been writing songs like crazy, and I always wanted to do a girl project. It's not your typical girl trio. We definitely have an edge. [laughs] We sing a lot about housewives."


With lyrics like, "you made me pretty, you made me smart, I'm gonna break me a million hearts" Miranda Lambert, Angaleena Presley, and Ashley Monroe bring together a trio of strong and independent women who's 100% country. 

Leaving on a jet plane.

I never thought I'd ever be this passionately inlove with someone. They say people come into your life for a reason. Why Mr. A is in my life? To teach me how to love again.

Being together for such a short amount of time, I can't begin to describe how much I am inlove with this man. He pulls emotions out of me I never knew I had and yet he posseses this nature to bring out the worse in me. It's as if when it's good, it's great. But when we're arguing and constantly fighting, it feels like the world is falling apart or I'm drowing and can't seem to breathe.

He'll be leaving me soon. Mr. A is simply just picking up and leaving. Although I knew this was coming, I just figured maybe he'd love me enought to want to stay. To maybe start something. Build a life knowing that perhaps maybe, just maybe he could see me in his future. That's not the case here.

I don't know what the point of this blog was but I just wanted to get a few things off my chest. I just wanted to write whatever I was feeling this morning and perhaps maybe this chaos could for once subside.... Even if just a little.

A Monday tip just for you

If you're fighting with the significant other, set some time aside to make up. Then, set even more time aside for the real make up session.





I've already scheduled my time. Happy Monday!

Me on hiatus... no longer.

Its been a few weeks since I've managed to set some time for blog writing let alone computer time. If I did my math correctly, it's approximately four months since I've done anything concerning Blogger. As I sit at the dining room table in my best friends home, it brings back the days we were religiously glued to our computers updating our Twitter accounts, Facebook, and most of all networking our joint blog called The Attic Find. Since then, I've been working and constantly busy (when not busy with my  new found love interest and boyfriend).

So much has been going on especially with the holiday season approaching. I just did a quick checklist to see who I still had to purchase gifts for and I'm doing  pretty well. Much better than last year where I still did some last minute Christmas shopping on Christmas eve. I have about five more people on my list along with a few family gifts. I thought I was on a row with  my gift buying since I started in October but I guess not. Hopefully I'll get them all bought and wrapped by next weekend.

On another note, my love life? Not as dramatic as it was a few months ago. My boyfriend treats me like a... well sort of princess when I'm not acting like a total witch to him. The family seems to like him enough, and the great thing about our relationship? I'm not bored with him yet. NOT that I'm saying I will get bored but I get bored easily and I tend to get a little.. restless with repetition. With him, I definitely have nothing to worry about.

I think that's pretty much all that's going on. Other than work, and spending time with the love interest, I have nothing more to say. Oh, and as far as my short stories, there's a work in progress. That's all I'm saying.

Happy Friday!